Multiple reports have come in that the guy zooming past you on his motorized skateboard is, in fact, heading to your house to fuck your mom.
Raymond Park, the guy in question, reportedly threw on his best Patagonia and hopped on his zooming board with the express purpose of making a beeline towards your hometown to crush your mom’s box.
“That’s a man on a mission,” reported witness Sally Jones upon seeing Park fly past you with no regard for his or your wellbeing. “I am certain he is about to smash some puss, and it will probably be the puss belonging to your mother.”
Reports indicate that the super-fast guy’s sacred pilgrimage to your childhood bedroom can only result in the passionate ravaging of your household’s matriarchal figure.
Upon arrival at your homestead, the guy will posthaste begin the process of loving down the woman who carried you to term.
The man notably chose a motorized skateboard due to its marginal speed advantage over the common electric scooter, as every second counts in the race to swoon your mother’s poon.
At press time, you called your mom but she didn’t pick up.