Report: Period Weird And Chunky Again

Witnesses confirm the discharge was just as spongy as last time.

Reports emerged early last Monday that area woman Mindy Zhang’s most recent period was yet again weird and chunky, matching last month’s observation.

Following a hesitant peek into her maxi-pad on the second day of her cycle in-progress, Zhang likened her findings to “the inside of a too-soggy Chipotle burrito, or some sort of gumbo,” solemnly noting that the menstrual blood had matched — if not surpassed — the lumpiness of her previous period.

“I’m not sure if I’m supposed to tell my doctor,” said Zhang, duly observing that though her general physician would often inquire about the heaviness of her period flow, there were relatively few prompts related to the chunkiness of her shed uterine lining. “Perhaps it’s a question to save for my OB/GYN,” she concluded, deciding to take action only if the next month’s period was similarly strange and chunky.

According to Zhang, the period’s consistency would alternate at random between the heterogeneous solution Zhang initially detected and a more thinly spread and conspicuous aqueous wash, deeply disturbing the young woman and causing her irregular menstrual milk stout to swirl and curdle further.

Zhang’s crowning coagulate was reportedly also accompanied by mysterious stomach grumbling and a sharp sour smell, making the misshapen forms emerging from her vaginal opening all the more unsettling.

Despite increasing concerns about her period looking like molasses, Zhang reminded herself that the month’s discharge was at least not as itchy as her period two cycles before.

Zhang was last seen pulling out a soaked super tampon, frowning.

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