Area grandmother Lucy Boyle cannot believe she has lived until 82 just to have physically unattractive grandchildren.
Boyle, who is a grandmother of five “wonderful” but kind-of fugly grandkids, was disappointed to discover that number six was unequivocally ugly as well.
“I keep on thinking, maybe, just maybe, this one will be better looking,” said Boyle. “I’m hanging on until I can confidently say that I have cute grandchildren.”
According to Boyle, a grandmother’s worst nightmare is having “grandchildren you can’t show off to your friends at Wednesday night bingo.”
“She left yet again with a sour look on her face,” said Boyle’s daughter Audrey while nursing her newborn son in the hospital room. Boyle reminded her daughter that she is “getting tired” and doesn’t know how much longer she wants to wait for grandchildren who are not fugly.
“It’s a true tragedy that Lucy’s grandchildren are not pleasing to look at,” said other neighborhood grandmother Nancy Billiards. “I wouldn’t wish ugly grandchildren upon my worst enemy.”
At press time, Boyle was seen scribbling over her grandchildren’s faces in her displayed family holiday card.