Recent reports indicate that the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA) spelling of worcestershire in the dictionary was even more indecipherable than the english version.
Students in Linguistics 210, Introduction to Linguistic Analysis, were reportedly horrified at the appearance of [wʊs tərˌʃɪər, -ʃər] in the pronunciation section, a place where they expected to learn how to say the word, but were instead left tragically more confused.
“I came to use the dictionary because I didn’t know how to say worcestershire. But that garbled mess of characters did not help at all. Now my brain hurts, I’ve forgotten how to read, and I still don’t know how to say worcestershire,” said freshman and prospective linguistics major Jacob Perkins when asked about his reaction to the foreign text.
“We don’t know how to read that stuff either,” said Linguistics 210 Professor Patricia Rogers when reached for comment.
The IPA has also successfully encrypted the pronunciation of words such as colonel and otorhinolaryngologist, making it so no one can ever say them out loud without lowering their voice and muttering.
