Report: Rachel Got A Diva Cup

Rachel was seen touting the chum chalice on all her social media.

Sources are confirming that area woman Rachel Becker has acquired a Lunette brand menstrual cup.

In the three hours since she returned from Target with her new purchase, Becker has reportedly been listing the benefits of the blood bowl to anyone who will listen.

“Yeah, it’s a little expensive,” said Becker of her new moon cup. “But it’s such a good investment if you think about how much those ecoterrorists spend on their dirty little tampons. Plus, it comes in so many cute colors, what’s not to love?”

Annie Burch, one of Becker’s closest roommates, claims that the cervical chalice has already brought tension into their shared home.

“Not only did she use one of my pots without asking, which is already really uncool, but she used it to boil her fucking menstrual cup,” said Burch. “What kind of person does that?”

Becker has also brought the news of her new purchase to her Instagram page, sharing numerous story posts about her new red goo receptacle. Captions include, “You only have to empty it once a day!” and “It’s so good for your vaginal health, and you can’t even feel it!”

Becker has also recently published a post on her Tumblr page, hailing her new uterine utility.

“I can’t understand why everyone doesn’t have one of these. They’re so good for the environment, they’re so cute, and you barely have to dig around up there to get it out!” tweeted Becker.

At press time, Becker had given up after many failed attempts to insert the vagina vat and was putting in a tampon.

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