Sources have confirmed that this past Saturday, as Bar Mitzvah boy Ben Ehrenfeld was lifted in a chair for the traditional Hora dance, he appeared blissfully unaware of the fact that he would never experience such happiness again.
Ehrenfeld’s grin as his four strongest family members carried him around the dance floor indicated that he had no knowledge of the disappointments he would soon face, such as his parents making him put all of his gift money into a savings account.
As he looked down upon his fellow 13-year-olds from his perch above the party, the notion that his crush would reject his offer to dance did not appear to register with the Bar Mitzvah boy.
Riding the high of the success of his baseball-themed party, Ehrenfeld could not fathom how quickly his glee would fade as soon as his cousin would inevitably throw up in the photo booth.
At press time, Ehrenfeld was being brought back down to the dance floor, where he would soon become uncomfortably sweaty surrounded by distant friends of his parents.
