High School Stage Manager Giving Orders Like Weathered Drill Sergeant

Wells was seen ordering the timid freshman who forgot his lighting cue to drop and give her 30.

As Maple Hills High School gears up for their winter production of Les Misérables, Lindsey Wells, 17, a junior at the school, is reportedly handling her job as stage manager with the tired rage of a weathered drill sergeant.

“When I first joined as a freshman, I was spineless. I didn’t even think I would make it as an assistant stage manager. But as soon as I got my first clipboard, everything changed,” said Wells, adjusting her headset which she has not taken off since the cast list went up.

Other members of the theater department have also observed Wells’ militant nature. “I would say most of us feel a combination of respect and fear for her. Actually, mostly fear. One time, she called an ensemble member a ‘horse-faced slut’ when she was 30 seconds late,” said Shayna Forester, who plays Cosette in the production.

Wells is also known for color coding every line of her scripts and shushing anyone talking backstage with the “ferocity of a thousand winds.”

With the performance dates drawing closer, Wells recently released a statement: “This isn’t just high school theater to me; it’s something so much bigger. The stakes are higher than ever, and it’s solely up to me to make sure that everything goes smoothly. We’re definitely gonna sell out, and I can’t risk embarrassing myself in front of a theater of 400 people.”

At press time, Wells was seen throwing her clipboard at a freshman who missed a cue.

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