Study Finds Majority Of Sex Ed Learned By Talking To Older Kids At Summer Camp

The wise big kids reported that you can’t get pregnant the first time.

A recent study into childhood development has found that the majority of Americans learn sex education through talking to the older kids at summer camp.

The study, conducted by the Department of Education, discovered a staggering number of adolescents find out the basics of human sexuality and reproduction from the kids who smoke cigarettes behind the archery range when the counselors aren’t looking.

“Initially, we were surprised by the results of the study, but we soon realized the data was undeniable,” said Dr. Sam Thatcher, child psychologist and sex education expert. “Without a doubt, the majority of sex education in this country is actually just kids listening to slightly older kids gossip about getting dry handjobs in the woods.”

While some have called the study controversial, the results have nevertheless been supported by multiple sources.

“Yeah, it’s definitely accurate,” said Jean Miller, director of Camp Wicawabe in New York state. “At summer camp, kids learn a diverse set of valuable life lessons like basket-weaving, fire-building, and love-making.”

Following the study’s publication, the Department of Education is reportedly “happy not to have to deal with that awkward stuff anymore” and “[feels] confident in older summer campers handling the talk about the birds and the bees from here on out.”

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