This past Saturday morning, area figure skating instructor Natasha Medvedev was seen screaming at five-year-old Marie Jo Reynolds to increase her speed.
“You must go faster,” shouted Medvedev at the five-year-old, who would have rather been watching cartoons or playing with her Legos. “How will you ever qualify for Olympics at such slow speed?”
While Reynolds, an unskilled and untalented figure skater, can hardly even stand up on skates, reports have surfaced that Medvedev instructed her to perform a “toe loop jump” followed by a “Biellmann spin.”
Witnesses have confirmed that the young Reynolds had tears streaming down her face for most of the lesson, which took place at six in the morning.
Although it was only Reynolds’ third lesson, Medvedev claims that Reynolds is far behind schedule in terms of her progress.
“You are disgrace to all of figure skating,” screamed Medvedev as Reynolds fell down, wishing she were playing dress-up with her friends. “I was able to perform catchfoot layback by the time I was four, and you cannot even do basic two-foot spin three weeks before your sixth birthday!”
“How will you ever be ready for tournament next week?”
At press time, Medvedev was reprimanding Reynolds, telling her that Olympic qualification trials are only a short five years away.