Hey sonny boy, looks like you haven’t been eating good as of late. Why don’t you have some of my hearty beef stew? Wouldn’t want that bad cold to get ‘ya.
Go ahead and whop a dollop on your plate, you sure could use a lil’ meat on them bones. It’ll warm you right on up and kick that nasty bug to the curb.
Satan’s evil plague ain’t no match for a good ol’ slurp of my savory concoction. There ain’t no artificial ingredients, colors, or preservatives in this here braise, but there sure is plenty of virus-fightin’, taste-bud-delightin’, good old-fashioned flavor.
Fever? Cough? Feeling down? I’m telling you, those guys down at the C-D-C haven’t tried my beef broth yet, perfectly seasoned with a splash of red wine and bay leaves to beat any ol’ germ.
Don’t bother with the hospitals, they’ve got long lines. My kitchen door is always open. Come on, try a lil’ bite of my hearty beef stew. It’s chock-full of protein, fiber, and, of course, a whole lotta love. That virus may be strong, but the secret ingredient in my prize-winning stock is stronger.
I’ve tried calling the doctors over at the hospital, but none of them believe that I’ve got the cure right here on my kitchen stove. Next time you come over, I’ll spoon you a bowl.