Sources have confirmed that student Haley Collins, with an adorable mouse-like sneeze, has infected ten surrounding classmates in her Econ 101 class as if she were a rat spreading the Black Death.
“Her sneeze was so cute. It was like a little mouse!” reported classmate Rita Miller, unaware that she would soon have the flu Collins was carrying.
Grant Jordan, another classmate, agreed with Miller’s assessment: “It was the most precious thing I’ve ever heard. It was just a little squeak, so quiet and tiny, and she had this itty- bitty handkerchief too.” Jordan then blew his nose and excused himself while turning green and clutching his stomach.
Collins was spotted traveling across campus after class, captivating passersby with her absolutely darling expulsion of pathogens that infected everyone in her wake.
At press time, Collins was seen leaving the bathroom without washing her hands, giggling while heading for the dining hall.
