Man Going On Honeymoon Totally Gonna Get Laid This Trip

Summers was excited to ‘get some’ from the woman he loved.

In anticipation of the month-long honeymoon he is about to take with his new wife, area man Chris Summers is almost one-hundred percent sure he is going to lay pipe this trip.

“Oh, she totally wants it,” stated Summers, referring to the woman he dated for five years and then married with an $80,000 reception. “She’s definitely down.”

Summers, who couldn’t wait to get some tail, claimed that boning on this trip was a “sure thing.”

“I’ll be pretty surprised if I don’t bust a nut,” he said, about the 14-day getaway with his long-term sexual partner. “We’re going to Hawaii for the second week, and there’s nothing that gets girls hornier than piña coladas and sunsets.”

“I can tell she’s into me,” he stated about the woman who had passionately given him her wedding vows the day before. “I’m gonna go all the way to home base with her.”

While the global retreat is set to include cities like Paris, Amsterdam, and Rome, Summers is also hopeful that he and the love of his life will take a trip to pound town.

Summers was last seen packing a bulk box of Magnum condoms into his suitcase

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