Local man Jeremy Coughlin has recently announced his plans to grow long hair so that he can donate it to the food-insecure members of his community.
Coughlin has stated that his hair is nearly past his shoulders and estimates it to be about 300 calories. He claims that his donation will go directly to those on the streets and hopes it will help fill their stomachs with fiber.
“I’m confident that what I’m doing can make a positive change in our community,” reported Coughlin about feeding his luscious locks to starving people. “Some say it takes a lot of courage to donate a part of your body. I say it’s just the right thing to do,” he continued, referring to making those in need crunch down on his bland and textureless flat mane.
Several people have come forward to say that they see him as a hero and praise him for his courageous actions.
“Hey, some people eat odd things in other countries. Who’s to say some people don’t eat hair?” stated friend James Bandelier. “I think the hungry are going to enjoy having a nice, full plate.”
“I think he’s just the sweetest for donating his hair to such a noble cause,” reported coworker Emily Finster, potentially unaware that he was offering his hair as a meal in a plastic bag. “I hope those who receive it appreciate his sacrifice.”
Around press time, Jeremy was seen saving his nail clippings for his next visit to the local soup kitchen.