Report: America Not Ready For President With Last Name Buttigieg

Polls found that the last name would be too radical a change for Americans at this time.

Political commentators are calling former South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg “unelectable” because of his last name. 

Although Buttigieg’s campaign recently released a phonetic spelling (“boot-edge-edge”) designed to make the canidate’s last name pronounceable, surveys have revealed that most Americans would not vote for a candidate whose name is impossible to spell. 

“America has made a lot of progress with all the ‘wokeness’ and great ground that we’ve covered,” said conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh. “But we’re still not ready to elect a man whose name is pronounced completely differently from how it’s spelled.” 

“I mean, compare ‘Buttigieg’ to ‘Trump.’ Is America going to elect someone with a simple, melodic one-syllable name, or a man with a surname so egregious that his campaign needs to step in to clarify things?” Limbaugh later added. 

One democratic voter in the Iowa Caucus reportedly tried to change her vote after learning how Mayor Pete’s name is pronounced. 

“Boot-edge-edge?” panicked Des Moines resident Denise Matthews. “I don’t want anybody like that in the White House.” 

At press time, commentators were calling Mayor Pete even more unelectable because his same-sex partner’s last name is also Buttigieg. 

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