South Korea To Require Mandatory National Service In BTS A.R.M.Y.

President Moon reported that his bias was Jungkook.

At a press conference last Saturday, President of the Republic of South Korea Moon Jae-In announced plans for a compulsory new national service in the fandom of international K-pop sensation, BTS.

President Moon revealed that all able-bodied South Korean males ages 18-35 were to be drafted into the boy band fandom, popularly known as the BTS A.R.M.Y., in order to protect national security interests.

South Korean Minister of National Defense Jeong Keyong-doo requested that the general populace come together to “stan J-Hope, Rap Monster, Suga, Jungkook, V, Jin, and Jimin” in the coming weeks, and to “stream the new single ‘On’ from Map of the Soul: 7.”

“Let us join forces and support our Republic’s sexiest dance machines,” said Minister Jeong in a recent statement, as he encouraged citizens to “live up to the A.R.M.Y.’s title as ‘Adorable Representative MC for Youth.’”

The mandate is slated to go into effect following legislative approval in the country’s National Assembly. Newly-conscripted fans will be expected to stream official M/Vs and fancams for 10-12 hours a day and start Tumblr blogs devoted to individual members’ body parts.

At press time, MAMAMOO Moomoos were seen mobilizing in objection to the A.R.M.Y. draft.

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