Washtenaw Hermit Crab Gets Up And Leaves

The crustacean was last seen swapping out its graffitied shell for one of the dumpsters behind East Hall.

Witnesses have confirmed that the enormous hermit crab residing peacefully at the corner of Washtenaw and Hill has finally up and left.

“I was on my way to Luther House when I felt the ground start to tremble beneath my feet,” said sophomore Olivia Tammond. “I looked to my left and there was the rock, standing on ten spiny legs, just making its way down the street.”

Other students were less surprised by the oversized crustacean’s sudden relocation. 

“I had my suspicions,” said senior Chris Johnson of Zeta Tau Alpha. “While we were painting the rock this winter, I thought I might’ve seen a fleshy pink eyestalk rooting around in the grass by my feet.”

Sources report that the disappearance of the humongous decapod has caused some unforeseen problems for students wishing to express their opinions via spray paint around campus. 

“Where are we supposed to paint our ‘Buck the Fuckeyes’ slogans or our drawings of giant dicks now? The graffiti alley?” asked an exasperated freshman, spray can in hand.

At press time, the gargantuan Parapylochelidae was spotted holding up traffic on I-94 before disappearing into the depths of the nearby Huron river.

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