Woman Watching Man Take Shit On Subway Wishes He Would Just Masturbate Instead

Kress was disappointed that her feminine charms couldn't dissuade the man from taking an open-air dump.

Numerous sources have confirmed that area woman on the New York City subway Riley Kress would much prefer the man taking a shit directly in front of her to just start masturbating to her instead.

“I wish he’d just quit it with the pooping,” said Kress, gesturing toward the inebriated stranger openly defecating on the B train. “If there were ever a better time for him to whip out his dick and start touching it in public, that time would most definitely be now.”

The 29-year-old was reportedly more prepared for the insult of a stranger whacking his meat to her than that of one dropping a number two during her morning commute.

“You’d think he’d have the decency to just jack off in the corner while staring at me,” said Kress. “Instead, he’s subjecting me to this disgusting mess.”

Kress also noted that, had the man been beating it in the subway car in lieu of releasing stool, “the eye contact would’ve been much more comfortable to maintain.”

“I’d pay $2.75 not to see it,” Kress added.

At press time, MTA authorities were encouraging other incontinent subwaygoers to try pleasuring themselves in place of sharting all over the seats.

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