Nature Reclaims Abandoned EPA Headquarters

Moss was reportedly sprouting out of each of the deserted cubicles.

Following Trump’s indefinite suspension of anti-pollution laws during the coronavirus outbreak, the abandoned EPA headquarters has reportedly been reclaimed by nature.

As the nation remains quarantined at home and corporations have been given an open license to pollute, animals have slowly begun to appear in places previously occupied only by humans, including the EPA headquarters.

“We are fighting a war on two fronts here. One against COVID-19, and the other against Mother Nature’s creeping recovery,” said EPA Chief Administrator Andrew Wheeler. “Since no one actually works in this department, it was only a matter of time before she claimed it as her own.”

“We are just providing a small degree of flexibility during these extraordinary times,” Wheeler added as various fauna began to make homes in the deserted HQ of the bureau whose original purpose was to protect the environment.

The EPA headquarters was last seen being engulfed in vines as greenhouse gas emissions rose 20%.

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