With the rising popularity of the acrylic nail, many young women have found themselves in salons requesting longer and longer styles. To lesbian Carly Thornton, the trend holds dangerous implications.
“I think they look so pretty, but I have to think about this from a practical standpoint. I can’tgoovertoaTinderdate’s apartment with half-inch- long claws. I’d ruin her! Turn her inside out! But dammit, they’re so pretty,” explained Thornton.
Homosexual women across the country have been grappling with the tedious decision of whether or not to sacrifice their partners’ nether regions for the sake of Instagrammable manicures, with many deciding against second-base-safety in the name of fashion.
Thornton further cited her own personal experience with the contradiction of the trend and her own sexual activity, explaining that an ex-girlfriend once “punctured [her] goddamn walls with a stiletto claw sharper than a steak knife.” The experience, she claimed, permanently changed her perception of how fads affect the gay community.
Carly Thornton was last seen saying a prayer for clarity outside her favorite nail salon.