According to multiple sources within the West Wing, the Vice President has been “extremely pleased” with the results of his many prayers for a large-scale biblical plague.
“A lot of people don’t believe in the power of prayer, which I think is a real shame,” Pence commented regarding the pandemic that has taken over one million lives worldwide, “but this whole coronavirus thing shows the overwhelming power of the Lord, and I think that’s just wonderful.”
Sources confirm that though the Vice President had initially prayed for a swarm of locusts, he changed his mind after hearing of the Asian Murder Hornets, and decided to pray for an airborne pathogen instead.
The Vice President’s efforts appeared to take a turn when his boss, President Trump, was infected with the virus. Pence urged concerned constituents, however, to “fear not, it’s all part of His process.”
Second Lady Karen Pence released a statement in full support of her husband’s efforts, “It’s been tough with him spending four hours each night with his Bible, but I’m so proud that he’s able to see the fruits of his labor.”
“I think there’s a lot of folks in this country that haven’t yet let God into their lives. I believe that this will finally start to turn things around. Now the world will pay their penance for their sins. As this holy cleansing plague sweeps through God’s world, remember that you deserve this,” said the Vice President when asked for comment.
Pence was later seen with his wife and family pets, boarding an Ark floating on the Potomac.
