Mom Actually Used To Play The Grand Piano All The Time, You Were Just Young And Don’t Remember, Now Stop Embarrassing Her In Front of Her Book Club

Disappointed looking dad

Son, that’s enough. Stop. Just take a small plate of cheese and crackers and stay in your room. You don’t need to keep coming out to the living room and interrupting Mom’s book club. And by the way, Mom used to play the grand piano all the time. Why would she tell her friends that if it weren’t true? Think about it, you little shitheel. It makes no sense. Why would we just own a grand piano for no reason? Your mom was a virtuoso. Cheryl, sit down. If you want more wine, I’ll get it for you. Jeremy, your mom lived in Moscow from the time she was seven, playing concertos for 12 hours a day until her fingers bled. She was gonna be a star. And she sacrificed everything for you! Now get out of here! I can’t even look at you. You’re making me sick.

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