Squatty Potty Announces New ‘Pat On The Back While You Yack’

The new device is reportedly being marketed towards expectant mothers and college freshmen.

Almost a decade after the release of their famous toilet stool, Squatty Potty, LLC, has announced plans for their newest product line; the Pat On The Back While You Yack.

The Pat On The Back While You Yack consists of a prosthetic arm that can be attached to any toilet seat. The device’s hand will gently, and repeatedly pat the user’s back while they are in the process of vomiting.

“We all know the saying ‘Everybody poops,’ but lest we forget that everyone yacks as well,” Squatty Potty CEO, Bobby Edwards, told reporters. “Puking might not be the most graceful part of your day, but it is still important.”

“When you’re pooping, you need your colon to be comfortable and relaxed,” said Edwards, demonstrating the product for an audience. “When you’re throwing up, your body craves this same level of comfort. That’s exactly what the Pat On The Back While You Yack provides.”

“I love the Pat On The Back While You Yack. I can’t see myself yacking again without it,” said Jacqueline Prescott, an undergrad student at the University of Kentucky. “Sometimes you just need that extra support when you’re regurgitating half a dozen vodka seltzers. It’s great to feel that someone is there for you, helping you get through a rough night, even if no one is around.”

The new product is set to arrive in stores later this month, and will have interchangeable features such as hand size and stroke velocity.

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