Sources have confirmed that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers experienced an unexpected loss today after new quarterback Tom Brady was washed out to sea after his first encounter with a hurricane.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Bruce Arians reported disappointment upon losing a valuable team member they had only recently acquired after Brady’s 20 year long tenure with the New England Patriots. “It sucks to lose a player in a hurricane, but it sucks even more to lose one so soon,” commented Arians on losing Brady before the season began.
“He was the goat, but I guess even the greats get swept into category three hurricanes weeks before the most important football season in the world,” described dejected fan Greg Harris. “I get it, I thought he was invincible and I guess he did too. But boy, will he be missed. I just hope he wore his shoulder pads, I think those will help him float,” said Harris.
“When we told him that there was a hurricane coming, he asked how much snow he should expect,” stated Buccaneers head coach Bruce Arians. “He missed practice the day after. We’re hoping he can be back in time for the postseason.”
At press time, Brady’s teammate Rob “Gronk” Gronkowski was seen furiously swimming into the ocean to retrieve his teammate.