Nation’s Weirdos Relieved To Have Reason To Stay In Their Rooms This Thanksgiving

Lingham was reportedly grateful to have more time to draw weird stuff on his pants.

Weirdos across America are reportedly relieved that staying in their rooms at Thanksgiving is not only acceptable this year but even encouraged.

Reese Lingham, 19, is one of these weirdos. He commented, “I just am not into the whole family small talk thing. None of those people even get me. I’d always much rather hang out in my room and read my books, and finally I can do that thanks to the coronavirus.”

Lingham’s mother Greta said, “I would always get a little sad when he’d just stay in his room all day doing God knows what.” She continued, “but now with everything going on, it shows that he really cares about us, so much so that he probably won’t even leave his room at all.”

Health officials are advising that Thanksgiving gatherings be scaled down or canceled altogether this year, much to the delight of all anti-social losers.

America’s weirdos are in good company with people who will not have anyone to kiss on New Year’s Eve.

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