Multiple sources have reported that Adam Simpson, an economics major and sophomore in LSA, is still convinced that money is actually real.
The delusional student’s thinking comes as a shock to many who are familiar with the field of economics. Despite the fact that Simpson has taken four courses within the University of Michigan Economics department, he remains steadfast in his belief that money is not just a theoretical, abstract concept used to demonstrate value.
Many of Simpson’s friends have come forward with their concerns about his illogical beliefs.
“I have to admit, I’m worried about the guy,” said Ned Harris, Simpson’s roommate. “He actually follows the stock market like it’s not just based on how rich people are feeling that day.”
Simpson, however, is unconvinced by attempts to explain how currency no longer accurately represents wealth.
“Listen, we wouldn’t be going through all this trouble to work and save and try to get out of debt if money weren’t real. That’d be like we based our entire society on a lie. It’s absurd. We wouldn’t do that, right?” said Simpson.
At press time, Simpson was seen defending the Electoral College as a valid method of representing the nation’s democratic votes.