In what is being called the “biggest scandal of the year,” local woman Caroline Marlen was “disgusted, and appalled” to discover that her father, a man she’d previously considered to be “all about our family, and totally devoted to mom,” had another serious girlfriend before he met her mother.
“I’m at grandma’s looking through old photo albums, and all these photos from dad’s college years are adorable. Then I see this one photo of him with some girl, and I’m thinking, ‘this girl looks like a less-hot version of my mom.’ When I saw the picture of her in dad’s childhood house, I freaked out, and my grandma said they dated for like thirteen months,” spat Marlen, visibly angry.
“What the hell, Dad? Your whole life, you think you know someone. Does Mom know? My God, how are we going to tell Mom? I thought we were your priority, and now we find out you took some floozy to the same spot we went camping last summer? I mean, what’s next, you’re gonna say you brought her to Thanksgiving?”
At press time, Marlen was spotted “absolutely reeling” upon learning that her mother went to prom with a man who was not her father.