Times Square To Be Converted Into Giant Bowling Alley To Make Use Of New Year’s Ball

At press time, S-train passengers were seen asking where the heck the huge booms were coming from.

In lieu of its annual New Year’s celebration of a ball drop, Times Square is slated to become a giant bowling alley, using the traditional ball to knock down ten massive pins.

Sources confirm that due to COVID-19 restrictions, the number of people in Times Square on New Year’s Eve this year will be limited. As a result, city officials reportedly sought a novel alternative to the ball drop.

“The annual tradition of watching the ball drop is no fun if a live audience isn’t crammed into Times Square,” said Pat Broomer, organizer of the event. “This year, to suit Mayor de Blasio’s concerns, we are doing something daring, brave, and memorable.”

The 11,000 pound geodesic sphere is set to be launched by the Mayor in his biggest publicity stunt of the year. “I’ve been practicing my throw for the past couple of months, I just hope I can do my city proud and at least get a spare,” de Blasio said while strapping on a pair of fingerless leather bowling gloves.

Several of the Square’s jumbotrons have been preloaded with different outdated graphics to be displayed, depending on what he throws.

Related News