Vaccinated Nurse Who Has Been Holding In Cough For Months Finally Lets It Loose

Walter's release quickly became known as "the cough heard 'round the ward."

As the recently developed COVID-19 vaccine gets distributed to hospitals, newly vaccinated nurse Jenna Walters is relieved to finally be able to cough after holding one in for the past nine months.

“In this line of work, you have to be really careful about coughing and sneezing and stuff, especially during a pandemic,” Walters commented. “Thank God I don’t have to worry about that anymore,” she said before hacking up a month’s worth of phlegm.

Walters’ close co-worker, Dr. Elsie Fishman, remarked, “She was really going crazy, tongue out and everything, you’d think it was her first time or something.” Fishman, however, was not the only essential worker distressed by Walters’ behavior.

“Jenna took off her mask to do it, too,” reported nurse Dana Compton. “At this point, she’s just setting a bad example for everyone still waiting for their vaccination. We got to get it first. You’d think she’d at least bother to wash her hands between coughing fits.”

Despite their misgivings, Walters dismissed concerned onlookers. “It’s not a dry cough. We’re safe,” said Walters. “Trust me, I’ve been in this industry a long time, I think I know what I’m doing.”

At press time, Walters was seen preparing to sneeze defiantly into the open air.

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