Blimey! Have a gander at this fit bird — this one left us absolutely gobsmacked! Wif bulging eyeballs like that, and teef like that, you’d fink she was one of us, right? She looks like she’d watch Love Island on the telly, snog a bloke, or spend a fortnight at the seaside on holiday. Well, if you thought that, you’d be bloody wrong! We learned some intel on this babe that has left us throwing a wobbly: she’s from across the pond. That’s right, she’s not British — she’s a proper Yank.
Are you absolutely gutted? We promise we’re not telling pork pies. We wouldn’t dare cock up something so utterly rubbish. If you still think this is a load of tosh, here’s a quote from the bird herself:
“I can’t believe the Rams lost the Superbowl last year. Anyways, who wants to try a slice of my homemade apple pie?”
Well that settles it! Sounds like she wouldn’t be caught dead noshing on beans and toast or me mum’s blood pudding. So next time you see her strolling about Devonshire, you can be certain that she’s a grockel. We’re proper chuffed to finally clear the air. Everything is tickety-boo now, innit?