Sources have confirmed that Sociology professor Laura Campos is on her way to Trader Joe’s in desperate search of some “me time.”
“Remote learning has been so taxing. Being at home doesn’t feel relaxing anymore; it’s where I have to lecture and grade all day,” Campos explained. “I needed to go somewhere that I knew would calm me down and make me feel more at ease. So, obviously, I’m heading to TJ’s.”
Witnesses described how Laura perused the aisles of the grocery store, occasionally picking something up
and examining it but never putting anything in her basket. Fellow shoppers regarded Campos kindly, recognizing that she is probably “going through a lot right now.”
“Yeah, we’ve seen her before,” said store manager Justin Heath. “In fact, she’s in here about once a week. She looks around the whole store as if she’s going to buy something but always ends up in the wine section. She buys like 5 cartons of boxed Pinot Noir and leaves.”
At press time, Laura Campos was seen mixing things up with a box of Chardonnay today.