Area woman Katie Finch reportedly began to sympathize with the prohibitionist struggle after waking up violently hungover this past Sunday morning.
“You know, it really is kind of an evil substance,” Finch commented in between swigs of water, “it hurts people.”
“Just think about all the problems that alcohol causes: violence, depression, you name it” she continued. “Without alcohol I bet there’d be world peace by now.”
“And you know what else, I’m pretty sure that Susan B. Anthony was a prohibitionist, so it’s really a feminist issue,” she continued, wincing at the brightness of her phone screen.
Much like early prohibitionists, Finch cites her faith as a driving motivator, “For me, what it really comes down to is my relationship with God, and alcohol has really come between us” she explained. “Now that I think about it, I should go to church today.”
At press time Finch reportedly threw up, then proceeded to make plans for mimosas.