Nation’s Girlfriends Hopeful To Receive Stimulus On Valentine’s Day

Three women holding wine glasses
Many girlfriends reported hoping for a more frequently occurring stimulus, but were willing to settle for anything at this point.

In a year where stimulus has been a hotly contested subject, millions of the nation’s girlfriends are hoping to receive theirs on Valentine’s Day.

“I’ve been waiting months for this,” said Maria Samuels, girlfriend of Aaron Swansby. “I’m not expecting anything over the top, but I think any stimulus at all will go a long way for me and many others who are in the same situation.”

It has been reported that among women who are currently involved in
romantic relationships, the demand for stimulus is at an all time high, even for those who received partial stimulus in
recent weeks.

“I was in the process of receiving stimulus last month, but my boyfriend
fell asleep before any real impact could be made,” proclaimed Jennifer Thomas, who has been dating Derick Naiman for eight months. “Now I’m left wondering, ‘Is that going to come out of my next round of stimulus?”’

While many couples argue about the magnitude of the stimulus that should be granted, another debate has emerged regarding the appropriate frequency of stimulation.

“In my opinion, I should be receiving stimulus every month, if not every week,” Samuels said. “That being said, I know that my odds are greatest on February 14th.”

At press time, it was reported that many boyfriends are also requesting stimulus, although most are not eligible.

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