LSA junior Max Adelson recently speculated whether the loud screams penetrating his bedroom walls could be his roommate playing video games or engaging in sexual intercourse.
“I’ve been trying to sleep for 45minutes,” said Adelson, burying his ears in his pillows. “But I can’t go out there to tell him to quiet down because for all I know he could be doing the dirty.”
Adelson described hearing someone of indeterminate gender yelling, “Yes. Fuck. Oh, that was so good.” The LSA junior reached peak confusion when he heard the same voice exclaim, “Shit, I’m getting so close.”
“Maybe if I just bang really loud on the door they will notice and quiet down, but if they’re actually getting down to business then they’re just going to think the bang came from the furniture against the wall,” said Adelson, visibly uncomfortable.
At press time, Adelson reportedly heard his roommate say, “Yeah, I’m coming. I’m coming.” However, it was unclear if he was talking to a romantic partner or to his teammates in Call of Duty.