Blizzard To Bring Fresh Round Of Inappropriate Snowmen To Ann Arbor

A large snowman with comically large and censored genitalia, and a woman proudly posing next to it.
Though the weather will be cold, snowmen may leave passersby feeling hot.

With snow in the forecast for the coming weeks, a new collection of inappropriate snowmen are likely to descend on Ann Arbor.

“My roommates and I have already planned that whenever it snows next we’re going to build a snowman with a MASSIVE dick,” reported junior psychology major Lauren Heller, who lives just off South State Street.

Heller’s friend Jessie Longworth, a junior in nursing, said, “I heard aboutLauren’s plan with her roommates, and I think the only logical thing to do is join in on the fun. Maybe my house will build our own snowman with some big ol’ boobies.”

“I even had a professor tell me that he was planning on building a large, surprisingly detailed snow-penis,” Longworth noted.“Apparently the last time it snowed, he built a snowman flipping the bird at bystanders with little twig hands. But this time, he’s joining the genitalia hype.”

At press time, Heller was out scouting a location where she could write “Fuck Ohio” in giant letters in the snow.

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