Cool Camp Counselor Boring Adult Now

A woman at the grocery store with a baby.
Abernathy was dismayed to learn that Simon no longer spent her free time playing hacky-sack.

LSA junior Lauren Abernathy was shocked this week to find out that the cool counselor she had at her childhood summer camp has now aged into another boring adult.

Abernathy was first confronted with the hard truth about former camp counselor Kristen Simon after Simon was suggested in the “People You May Know” section on Abernathy’sFacebook feed.

“When I first saw her profile picture, I didn’t even recognize her. She didn’t have any dyed streaks in her hair or intricately woven friendship bracelets or Sharpie-drawn song lyrics on her hands,” Abernathy said. “Now, Kristen has a mom haircut with chunky highlights and seems like she’s wearing chevron unironically. It’s depressing.”

Upon diving deeper into Simon’s profile, Abernathy was reportedly “disturbed” to find the girl she once saw smoke weed out of a bowl she whittled during Arts & Crafts is now sharing Pinterest life hacks for keeping your baby’s diaper bag organized.

Abernathy later reflected on her experience, saying, “I can’t believe I used to think she was cool. Since I was eleven, I thought I wanted to be just like Kristen. But, I’m realizing she was just the only teenager I knew at the time. Now that we’re both adults, it’s, like, wow. Growing up ruins people. Especially people who thrive on playing spin the bottle with their coworkers.”

Abernathy declined to send Simon a friend request, as she felt “some things are just best left in the past.”

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