Middle Finger Stages Coup, Displaces General Rule Of Thumb

A person's hand with fingers dressed in military uniforms.
As a result of the rebellion on Greensworth’s right hand, Sergeant Thumb on Greensworth’s left hand reportedly warned the other left-hand fingers to “not even think about it.”

Sources have confirmed that the right-hand middle finger of area man Larry Greensworth recently staged a coup d’etat, resulting in the displacement of the rule of General Thumb.

“1-2-3-4, I’ve declared a thumb war;’ Major Middle Finger reportedly exclaimed prior to the incident. “5-6-7- 8, my reign is in the hand of fate!”‘

Greensworth described multiple previous incidents of hands-on conflict between his fingers, and, according to him, this was definitely not the first time that drama between the digits had gotten out of hand.

Sources claim that General Thumb was taking the end of his rule poorly, and according to Vice Admiral Index Finger, was having an especially difficult time holding this loss. “We get you were usurped, but you don’t have to be a sore loser about it;’ Vice Admiral Index Finger claimed, as Greensworth formed an ‘T’ on his forehead with the two fingers.

At press time, Commander Ring Finger and Private Pinky were seen plotting a coup d’etat of their own, hoping to engage in hand-­to-hand combat with Major Middle Finger, himself.

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