New Taylor Swift Album Gives “All The Feels” About Middle School Boyfriend

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Upon hearing Taylor Swift’s new rendition of “Love Story,” junior Katie Young was transported to vivid memories of leaning her head against the bus window and daydreaming about her crush asking her to the big dance.

Taylor Swift fans are reporting that “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)” is giving them “all the feels,” but those aforementioned “feels” are about their middle school ex-boyfriends.

“I was really excited for Taylor to release her re-recorded version of ‘Fearless’,” said junior Katie Young. “It’s a great album, but it will probably make you think about your seventh grade sweetheart from 2013 in 2021.”

Many students are weighing in about the new sound in the recent Swift album. “This re-release will invoke bittersweet memories of all the hugs and hand-holding in middle school,” said sophomore Emily Wright. “The maturity in Taylor’s voice reminds you that you’re old as hell, but the lyrics will take you back to purer and simpler times.” 

“‘You Belong With Me’ is a classic Taylor anthem,” said junior Matt Stevens. “What’s special about the re-recording is that it will allow you to reminisce about the hundreds of times you watched the original music video, wishing that your boy-next-door was Jacob from Algebra and not a 67-year-old Navy Veteran named Bob Wilson.”

Students also shared their thoughts about the previously-unreleased songs included in “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)”. “’Mr. Perfectly Fine’ is supposed to be about Joe Jonas,” said senior Anna Li. “But it will make you think about your ex-boyfriend Adam who broke up with you over text the day before Halloween and then went trick-or-treating with his friends the next day like nothing happened.” 

At press time, various students could be heard reminiscing about what it’s like to love someone who plays Little League.

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