US Soldiers Decorating, Throwing Helmets In The Air To Celebrate Afghanistan Withdrawal

Some soldiers were last seen discussing their plans to spend the upcoming summer backpacking through Europe.

Following President Biden’s announcement that he will be withdrawing all U.S. troops from Afghanistan by September, soldiers stationed there were seen decorating their helmets with personalized designs and tossing them up into the air.

The soldiers had excitedly decorated their helmets with felt cutouts of parachutes and phrases such as “Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.”

“I just thought this day would never come,” commented a tearful corporal while clutching a bouquet of flowers his parents had sent him.  

Some soldiers were especially delighted to hear they’d be graduating from their occupation. “I mean, I definitely got held back a few times,” commented one private, referring to the government’s constant needless extensions of the Afghanistan occupation.

“It’s been many long years of hard work, but I think this’ll really pay off in terms of my career,” said one artillery supplier, predictably unsure of what careers would be marketable to him.

“Honestly, I’m relieved just to be getting out of here with no debt,” said another soldier already planning what he would do with his life when he returned home.    

As the planes carrying the soldiers departed en route to the States, the nation of Afghanistan was seen readily preparing for the next class of soldiers.   

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