Exciting Eavesdropping Opportunity Just Reveals The 2 Most Boring People On The Bus

Several students are walking towards a Campus Connector bus.
Fandle reportedly reinserted her dead AirPods for some peace and quiet after overhearing their conversation.

This week, Engineering junior Sarah Fandle reported an exciting chance to listen in on a strangers conversation during her ride on Campus Connector. However, her spying efforts were ruined when the only people close by happened to be “the most boring people on campus.”

“My Airpods had just died, so I thought it was a golden chance to hear something crazy on the morning bus,” said Fandle. “They were saying that ‘The soap dispensers on the 3rd floor EECS building were better than any in Bursley. It dispenses twice the soap in a whole second less time.’ Who even cares? How did they know so much about soap velocity?”

Fandle went on to recount the clandestine conversation in greater detail, emphasizing the absence of “tea, shade, gossip, or gasps.”

“The bus already lets me down a lot, but this was just a slap in the face,” said Fandle. “When they started talking about how many ceiling tiles were in the Chem building, I switched seats. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

At press time, Fandle was seen carrying wired headphones, no longer trusting the fallibility of rechargeable ones.

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