Returning Students Kinda Surprised To See Schlissel Still Hanging Around Here

Mark Schlissel standing and chatting with some fans.
Approximately four students so far have told Schlissel that he “looks just like that guy who used to be president.”

Students returning to campus in the fall were reportedly “a little surprised” to see that University President Mark Schlissel was returning as well.

“I feel like we gave him enough grief last year, you know, with his handling of COVID and everything,” says LSA Junior Ben Dorson. “I guess we all kinda thought he’d get the hint and get out since things between us are weird.”

Schlissel, who has been University President since 2014, fell under harsh criticism last year for what was seen as a lax response to the pandemic, as well as suing his own students on Labor Day for organizing. He was subjected to harsh criticism and ridicule that many thought would have crushed his spirit.

The Schliss was seen walking around Ann Arbor, garnering a lot of confused looks and double-takes. One bystander reportedly asked “oh, you’re still here?” after accidentally bumping into him in the diag.

 The University President allegedly attended a few home football games this season, and was consistently greeted by attendees asking him what University he was president of now, or how he was able to get out of prison to see a football game.

Schlissel was last seen escorting a bewildered Ann Curzan out of the President’s House, and explaining to her that he was still the president, and she would have to wait her turn.

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