Huh. You’re asking me if your tendency to black out every time you drink is indicative of a deeper emotional issue? You know what? I think that sounds like a really good question for your therapist. Her name is Cynthia, right? Yeah, I think you should ask Cynthia about that. As much as I would love to give you some advice on this topic again, she might just have a bit more of a qualified perspective than me.
Yeah, I know you want my take on it, but unlike Cynthia, I’m not getting paid. We’ve been over this. I listened to you after your third breakup with Steven. I was by your side during your labrador’s appendectomy. I even held your hair back after you ate too many breadsticks at Olive Garden that one time.
But this time, I think it’s Cynthia’s turn to handle things. She’s got a license and everything! I promise you, she can answer your existential questions better than I can with my Bachelor’s degree in Marketing. So your drinking problem, your history of narcissistic exes, your mommy issues? Either keep it to yourself or fit it into your tight fifty minutes with Cindy.