In the days preceding Thanksgiving break, students seeking respite over the holiday have once again started experiencing looming pressure to run a 5K.
“Every year, I get excited about going home to relax and spend time with my family,” said junior Logan Thommes. “But I always forget that it’s only a matter of time before my mom tosses running clothes on my bed and asks if she should register me for the Turkey Trot.”
Some students have reported feeling tempted to participate, due to being able to eat slightly more than normal during Thanksgiving dinner.
“I’ll admit, there’s something enticing about running in sweatpants before gouging on a feast,” reported senior Katherine Jambors.
“I see posters for this 5K everywhere. It’s like they’re asking me, specifically, to join,” said junior Derek Splin. “I can’t take this harassment from the city anymore.”
At press time, students were seen planning alternative indoor workouts for Thanksgiving morning to avoid having to go out in the cold.