Marine biologists studying fish behavioral patterns have reported that aquarium fish have a “strong desire to take visitors home” in order to “keep as pets in a glass box”.
Scientists claim that fish like to look at humans with “cool colored and patterned outfits” and would love to see them “walking around some coral and a castle”.
“Fish actually enjoy when people come close and tap on the glass,” reported lead researcher Anna Shpots. “Fish believe it to be a sign of compassion and weakness.”
“If it’s what the fish want, I’d be willing to trade my 3-year-old for a cory catfish,” reported local father Stephen Frands. “Honestly, anything rainbow would be good.”
Around press time, fish were enjoying a child playing peek-a-boo and wanted to rip her from her home and her family.