Sources confirm that each and every student in an 80-person Philosophy 282 lecture this past Tuesday was “absolutely itching, just uncontrollably eager” for classmate Kenny Marks to raise his hand for the sixth time that session.
Marks, whose comments had taken up over one-third of the total lecture time, said he was glad to be of service to the class.
“Every time he raises his hand, we all get so excited, because we know he’s going to illuminate us with another shred of brilliant wisdom,” remarked classmate Elle Parsons. “Today, he’d already raised his hands to contribute a pearl of knowledge five times, and that was nowhere near enough Kenny for me. I needed to hear more. I almost shed a tear of gratitude when I saw he was willing to speak again.”
“I think this concept bears a remarkable similarity to an article I read over the weekend,” began Marks, cracking his knuckles and speaking with what classmates called “the confidence of a Greek God.” “Wouldn’t you say that the symbolism in the readings is actually based off of the 1972 dissertation of Lorne Stevens?”
Towards the end of the lecture, the professor was spotted shaking her head and exiting the classroom early after calling on Marks only to hear him begin, “well, I’d actually argue…”