Hi there. I am looking for a big, hairy man to whip me and use me for my body. The bigger he is the better. The hairier he is the happier. Bonus if you’re old. Double bonus if you’ve got a thick, grey beard. Must be willing to sleigh me all night long.
By the way, I’ve got a real big nose, if you’re into that. It’s red too. I mean, really red. I hope that isn’t a problem. Some would even say it glows. Maybe you’re down for that, though.
Must be a nice sugar daddy who wants to give lots of presents out. Has to be willing to pull the reins. Isn’t afraid to call me a ho, ho, ho. Would like for us to ride all through the night into the late midnight hour, preferably on a dark silent night while everyone else is fast asleep.
I can’t host, but I am mobile. Very, very mobile some would say. Others can be invited as well, if you’re into that, but they have to let me guide. If this sounds like you, please tell me if you’re coming to town.