12-Hour Zoom Rush Longest Sorority Girl Has Worked In Entire Life 

A sorority girl in a Zoom meeting.
“I’m more tired than after that 4-day bender on St. Patty’s,” reported sorority girls across campus.

Alpha Alpha Zeta recruitment chair Zoe Wilson reported working “the most hours she’s ever worked in her life” during online sorority recruitment last week. 

Michigan’s shift to online sorority recruitment led to longer hours for both sorority women and potential new members, all of whom had reportedly “struggled” to balance rush with the two participation quizzes they had scheduled later that week. 

“Rushing for twelve hours made me rethink nursing school,” reported one member of Gamma Mu. “I just emailed my advisor about maybe switching to a communications major.” 

“I worked 4-hour lifeguarding shifts sometimes at the club last summer,” Wilson later commented, “but that was nothing compared to twelve hours of constantly smiling and rating girls based on appearance.” 

At press time, all of Greek Life was seen celebrating that they wouldn’t have to do this much work until this time next year. 

Related News