40-Page Required Reading Actually Just 38 With References

Jones was reportedly “pleasantly surprised” when the pages started mercifully showing references and hyperlinks.

LSA junior Malik Jones was reportedly “bursting with joy” last Wednesday evening after discovering that a 40-page assigned reading for his LING 352 Development of Language and Thought class was really 38 pages with references. 

Sources informed that the assigned article, an overview of the building blocks of language, left Jones “speechless” when he first saw the page number. However, upon further review and much meticulous inspection Jones was delighted to announce that the article was indeed not as formidable as he anticipated. 

“At first, when I saw the forty pages I figured this reading was gonna take me at least an hour and a half,” Jones stated. “But when I saw two of those pages were references, I knew I’d fly through this shit in a heartbeat.” 

Other students in the class shared similar sentiments. According to reports, LSA Junior Hannah Kaiser was without words when she glanced at the bottom of her linguistics homework, making a shocking revelation. 

“Thought I was gonna have to be up all night coursing through this thing. Now that I know it’s way shorter than I expected, I’m going to bed!” Kaiser claimed as she closed the Canvas tab and hopped into bed. 

At press time, the students of the LING 352 class were utterly tongue-tied after getting their next assignment when they determined that the 55-page reading was actually just 54 with the title page. 

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