Last Monday evening, LSA freshman Daniela Brooks was spotted dropping her dinner plate in the South Quad dining hall, destroying “not only her dish, but her reputation.”
The incident which “virtually no one” saw nor paid attention is said to have “inflamed Brooks to the core.” Reports claimed her face was “as red as the velvet cake she had let fall to the floor.”
“I’ll never recover from this,” claimed Brooks as she shamefully brushed off bits of the cake back onto her plate. According to reports, the dessert plate was now “as fractured as her flailing sense of self.”
Onlooker and Engineering freshman Lucas Billard recalled turning his head upon hearing the shattering of the plate. “What was that?” Billard stated to his friend, before never mentioning nor thinking about the situation ever again.
Sources claim that at the sound of the dish clattering, Brooks wondered “whether [she] would ever get on with [her] life,” after this incident of public humiliation.
At press time, Brooks pondered hiring a publicist to recuperate her lost reputation.
