ICU beds at area hospitals allegedly filled up after a doctor received calls about five little monkeys suffering head injuries while jumping on the bed.
“I warned them about the dangers of the bed after the first injury,” reports Dr. Amy Fleado. “In the medical field, we call these injuries to the head ‘bumps’, and they can lead to severe memory loss.”
“I didn’t realize our king-sized bed could be so dangerous,” stated mother of the monkeys, Cyril Simon. “Maybe several twin beds could have prevented this, but these kids are just too crazy.”
Ms. Simon was reported to have called Dr. Fleado, who was quoted to have advised “no more monkeys jumping on the bed,” in an attempt to keep ICU beds free for COVID patients.
Witnesses claim that the recovering monkeys were jumping on the hospital bed, having failed to learn their lesson.
“With this surge in bed incidents, our ICU is nearly at maximum capacity,” reports Dr. Fleado. “These monkeys are taking up valuable beds from people in need of surgery.”
Around press time, it appeared that no more monkeys were jumping on the bed.
