New Pandemic Spike Leading People To Undiscover Their Sexuality

Two people lying in bed, both looking at their phones uninterested
People around the country have been unable to “get it on to anything anymore.”

Reports have been rising of people around the world undiscovering their sexuality while in quarantine amid the new covid spike. 

Doctor Sharon Peterson refers to this phenomena as Sexuality Amnesia. She explains, “Having an obscene amount of time to oneself during the first quarantine led people to dig in and understand themselves more. Now that COVID’s spiking again, people are having the same realizations, but now they’re out of options and just reverting back to before.” 

Macy Williams, recently diagnosed with Sexuality Amnesia, reports “I think I’m straight. Women don’t actually do it for me at all,” even though she married a woman following the first COVID quarantine after realizing men “actually don’t do it for her at all.” 

Dating apps have reportedly introduced an “undo” button for those who regretted changing their sexual preferences so casually.

At press time, Macy Williams was seen throwing up after seeing a naked man.

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